Pentecost 15: How do we love our neighbour?
This week’s readings raise many thorny questions about how we can love our neighbour. Ezekiel writes about telling people they are wicked- surely we are past the hellfire and brimstone version of Christianity? Paul writes that Christians should obey governments, and that God has instituted governments. But governments are not always good and are often very, very bad indeed. Jesus talks about guardian angels and how to reconcile with difficult people but that we don’t always have to live with each other. But Paul writes that love is the fulfilling of the law, so don’t we have to always make relationships better?
When reading Scripture, we always have to interpret a passage against the overarching message which Jesus brings us: the two great commandments to which Paul refers: Love God totally and love your neighbour as yourself. If we act, think and speak in this way then we will be on the right path.
So why would Ezekiel encourage people to call out the evil doers? Because they are his neighbours, and if they are sinning, then they are damaging not only others but also themselves. We are meant to stand upright, in righteousness, before God and the world. When we act out of desire for the well being of the other, then we are upright; when we act only for ourselves and our selfish desires that exploit others, then we end up curving inwards, becoming spiritually deformed. Christian love is not a feeling. We don’t have to like people or feel warmly about them. Christian love is an act of the will to try to provide an environment for others to grow into the love of God and to be the best they can be.
God wants all people upright, living in his freedom and being part of a holy community. So Christians do need to discern what behaviour is of God and what isn’t. That is not being judgmental. A judgmental person condemns someone else as bad. Full stop. A discerning person sees the behaviour of the other as not of God, and therefore that the person needs healing to be restored to what they should be. Thus, we can pray for the person with bad behaviour, we can grieve for the damage being done to their personhood. We can pray compassionately for them because they are, at this moment, far from God. They are a ‘lost sheep’ whom God wants brought home.
Prayers such as this shift us from resentment to keep us in the will of God. Ezekiel’s s saying warning comes from a place of concern for the spiritual well-being of the person, as well as out of concern for the damage being inflicted on others through the bad behaviour.
And if the approach to the sinner is coming from this will for God’s will, the will that all act in the way of God, and not coming from the dark side, then it is good. When we simply condemn, without seeking to act in God’s will, then we can end up creating a deeper division between ourselves and the other person.
The world at the moment is in a fevered state or moral outrage at everything. People condemn people for the slightest fault. People seem to feel the need to condemn others so that they can feel good in their moral superiority. But in condemning others so much, they reveal themselves as not only self-righteous, but morally and spiritually deformed.
If you hear only outrage, indignation and pure negativity, then you can generally tell that this person is not speaking in God’s truth.
Does that mean as Christians we should only say nice things about people or that we should not call out wrong actions? Not at all. Ezekiel stated clearly that where there is sin, where people are harming others and themselves, then we need to try to stop it. Paul says we should be subject to governments, but that doesn’t mean we should not call them to account when their policies inflict cruelty on people, or damage the environment we all share. How we do this, though, should be both prudent and godly. In a democracy we can vote out governments, in dictatorships or flawed democracies, speaking out can get you imprisoned, tortured or killed.
In discerning the evil in governments, institutions and individuals, it is necessary to again look to the two great commandments. Love God with all your heart mind and soul. That is, are my actions words and thoughts helping to build a godly kingdom of respectful relationships?
Are my thoughts, word and actions increasing my love of neighbour; or is my resentment and hurt growing as I see them as totally wrong? Can I try to see them in the wholeness of their being, as God does?
And let’s not forget the second half of the second commandment. Jesus urges us to love ourselves as we love our neighbours. Is my action or thinking or words producing a godly outcome for me? Or do I see myself purely as a victim, without agency? We may need to leave a toxic place, or a violent situation, especially when staying simply enables the sinner to continue the sin. Or, in some contexts, we may need to ask someone else to leave.
And that is what Jesus is talking about in dealing with congregation members who hurt another congregation member. It seems that Jesus is not referring to major things here, where it would be dangerous to confront the person alone. This is where someone is feeling aggrieved, but not in danger.
Jesus is saying that people shouldn’t just bury their complaints- that is not Christian. Christians are called to build godly kingdom communities. Parishes should not be a place of division and cliques.
The ungodly behaviour is named. The issue is brought into the open, rather than complained about behind the sinner’s back. The complaining about a person, but not confronting them, is actual sin. It further entrenches self-righteousness in the complainer. And in gossiping about it, it encourages other parishioners to sin in condemning the person, and in continuing to gossip.
It is important to name an issue, because in discussing it we may learn more about the circumstances, realise there is another way of seeing the issue, and in fact, a better relationship can be built, and the fear and distrust can disappear.
But if the person refuses to apologise or change, then Jesus says bring another couple with you to discuss the issue. This is not ganging up on a person. The couple are there because they have also discerned that there is sin, and they are there to see that both sides can have a fair hearing so that there can be a peaceful resolution.
If this approach does not work, then the relationship dead. If one person is not willing to work with other people in a godly way, then they ae not following the Christian path and they are no longer part of the Christian community.
It is OK sometimes, after all the godly actions have taken place but have failed, to tell someone to leave a parish. I have seen about two instances of this in the diocese. Were those two people sinners? They certainly wrought havoc and misery in the parishes, but they were quite ill too. It is not up to us to judge them, but to act to build safe and godly communities.
God is a God of justice and mercy- and he will deal with sin. We are called to do our part in building community, by godly love, but also by being aware of sin in others and in ourselves. Sometimes we can do nothing about what is happening – but we can always make sure that our hearts, words and actions are firmly in the good side, and not adding to the darkness.
God sees when evil happens. Let’s conclude on that powerful image Jesus draws of how much God loves children, by which I think he refers to anyone who is defenceless and vulnerable. Each of these little ones- that is each of us – has an angel at their shoulder whose face is always turned to God. Nothing that happens is not seen by God. We are accountable.
This week: Think about an incident where you have felt aggrieved or hurt. Try to put aside judgment of who is right or wrong. Look to see what behaviour in the other was of God and what wasn’t. Look at your own responses: are they of God or not? God wants your freedom. May you find it this week. Amen.
What do you think about this? Email me and we can continue the conversation!